my beautiful brother Chris died on February 21, 2012.
i blog here to stay sane. i howl to thee, internets.

 

Chr Is 
2/25/11
to me
Hey, and happy birthday again!!! Get old! Ya!
Sorry I didn’t call you on your day, but I will find something nice here in San Fran and send it your way.
I thought of you:

tribute

This is an edited version of the tribute that I read at Chris’ funeral/celebration of life on February 29, 2012.

I loved my brother even before he came to be gestated in our mother’s womb. I was five years old when she got pregnant. I was so excited about it, and I was beside myself with joy when my father told me that I had a little brother, that he’d been born at 6:02 p.m., and that his name was Christopher.

At the beginning he was my baby, whom I held and cuddled and cared for, then he became my little pal, the three year old who was star and co-star in all my plays, the consummate professional who never forgot his lines. When he got a bit older still, more than my brother, he was my friend, my buddy, my confidante. We took turns playing straight man and funny man. I know that since our childhood he’d gone out into the world and touched an amazing number of people, and though I was happy to share him, I always thought of him as mine first.

I’ve spent some of the past few days going through our emails, instant messages and texts, most of which are really hilarious but unfortunately entirely inappropriate to share in this setting. If you know my brother you can imagine the content. You’ve probably had similar exchanges with him.

I will tell you about our sign-offs, which included such monikers as champ, pal, sister/brother, and reimer/baby reimer. There was also:

    Reimer out,
    reimer.         
     
    Peace out Governor,
    General.  
    Back to you in the studio Barb,
    D-Janz.  

Our relationship was collaborative, creative, emotional, intellectual and intertextual. We always riffed off each other really well. I always thought we’d collaborate on a big project, some day, and I’m saddened that we never had that chance.

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noreimerreason:

There are signs everywhere; sometimes it seems that you are not very far away at all. (Taken with instagram)


You couldn’t convince me that my brother did not put that bear in that tree; I usually walk home on Georgia Street after I cross Nanaimo, but for some reason I took Adanac instead. Listening to music and feeling simultaneous grace and grief and crying without tears. Two sisters passed me on the sidewalk on their bikes. One big one little. Made my heart ache.
I reached my cross street and headed north. Several houses from the corner, up high in the tree. The teddy bear and the setting sun. I know it was Chris and it was love and I am profoundly grateful.

noreimerreason:

There are signs everywhere; sometimes it seems that you are not very far away at all. (Taken with instagram)

You couldn’t convince me that my brother did not put that bear in that tree; I usually walk home on Georgia Street after I cross Nanaimo, but for some reason I took Adanac instead. Listening to music and feeling simultaneous grace and grief and crying without tears. Two sisters passed me on the sidewalk on their bikes. One big one little. Made my heart ache.

I reached my cross street and headed north. Several houses from the corner, up high in the tree. The teddy bear and the setting sun. I know it was Chris and it was love and I am profoundly grateful.